right words to say

I can't remember when was the last time I cried this hard, my eyes are hurting already and yet I still couldn't stop to cry. No, that was not a cry. Bawl was a right word. My chest hurts so bad that for a sec, I thought I was having a heart attack.

I can't even remember when was the last time I cried this noisily, I think a person hundred meters from me could even hear it. It's not easy, to be given this task only a mother can do. I want to give up, but who else will do? It's so hard coz they see you as just another human being who talk shit, coz honestly, I'm not the best counselor there is.

I can't remember crying this much that I couldn't even see the words I wrote (sorry for typos if there is). I need to write it down coz I need an escape or else my chest will burst and explode in a tiny million pieces, and that is just too painful!

I can't even remember the last time I cried too much, that I could no longer utter a word without quivering. If I just heard me, I'm sure I'm gonna laugh. The only thing that will came out from my mouth is a coherent mumble and a sob! And that is just disgusting.

I can't remember crying this hard that even breathing becomes an ardous task.

Feels like I just cried out a year's worth of tears today. I don't cry too much but I still cry and that that is just human.

Tatay's Day Celebration

It's Father's Day. The whole family is coming to the city to celebrate!

Then we went to SM mall and for a day we feel like we owned it.

My parents are not fastfood lovers, so for lunch, we settled on the mall's foodcourt and just order foods that are familiar to their taste buds. 

Mama is not a big fan of American food but still we went to a pizza place. It's a risk I'm willing to take and turns out, she really is not a big fan of American food. Dili lagi pugson! Anyways, she ate a bite of pepperoni pizza (which she spits out after), a mouthful of spaghetti (it's more like a strand of noodle, but still), a bite of mojo and one piece of garlic bread. Well, it's a start. hehe. She could get better. At least she covered everything in the menu minus the chicken. She doesn't eat chickens unless it's native. So there, meet my mother, the hardest to be feed person I've ever known. Just give her fruit salad. That means the world to her.

 Tatay didn't like it, too, but at least he ate what was there.

After renouncing the mall's proprietorship, the pack wanted to visit our new apartment and my heart contracts. The house was the exact opposite of presentable, and that is just the impression I wanna have of our new home.

On our way, I was recounting what was the apartment looks like when we left. Anyways, they just wanted to see it and then left. That's harmless.

We need to walk for 10 minutes when the rain decided to pour out so hard that we left no body parts dry. It was close to night at that time. When we reach home, everyone was dripping and cold, and Zoie (5-month old niece) was no exception. So, they decided to spend the night in there.

A while later, mama saw the pile (more like a mountain) of dirty clothes inside the pail. From the look on her face, I know I'm in trouble.

So that awkward moment, when everyone's enjoying watching a movie..

and some hit the hay earlier because of a day's workout.

Then mama is always being mama, washes all my dirty clothes - with a little sermon.

Then you don't know what group to go to. Of course, your heart screams MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEE! But that's your dirty clothes your mother was working on. Ayst! I was this close into tapping her in the shoulder and encouraged her farther "go ma, go ma!". haha!

Mama: When was the last time you did your laundry?
Me: (in my mind: You really don't wanna know!) Ahm! Just recently. *high-pitch voice*

And that was not enough, she washed all our cleaned plates again. Then she need to use a bathroom so she went in there. I was wondering what was keeping her so long (She only needs to pee). Turns out, she cleaned it, too. From the toilet bowl to the rusty floor, everything was sparkly clean, I almost can't recognize it after.

When she was contented, she wanted to borrow one extra shirt from me to sleep in, so, she asked me where my cabinet was! I immediately pictured out what was it looked like when we left earlier. Uh-ow! I smell another trouble.

Inside the cab.

Isn't she the cutest thing ever.

Wet clothes.

Sorry for the low quality photos. That was just taken via cellphone.

Tatay :D

I always hear someone saying...
They have the best father in the world
That is just full of crap!
How can they say that?
They don't have you!
So, I beg to disagree

You may think that you didn't do any noble job
But look at me
I'm the noblest job you've ever done
(Okay, this is about you)

So, thank you for bringing me into this world
More importantly, for doing the human race a big favor
Coz really, having me into this world...
Is the biggest achievement a father could ever have (haha)
(how can i possibly make everything be about me?!)
anyways, Good job Tay :D

Happy Father's Day
Believe me
You are the best father in the world!

I love you x0x0x0x0x0

unannounced dinner with friends

Destination: Ayala

Goal: To buy a wedding gift for my friend

What Happened: We ended up in this cozy restaurant with yellow lights that believed to be a look enhancer. It'll make someone prettier kuno. Looking at myself in a pic taken, it's all but a lie! 

As we wait for our orders, we discuss very important topics. Topics that are vital to the improvement of the society. We even continue to discuss while eating and continue to discuss after eating. That's how important those topics are to us.

Disclaimer: If you're 18 or above, please continue. If not, hit the 'x' button at the upper rightmost corner of this browser. I will not hold any responsibilities of clouding your judgment and messing up your already dirty brains.

Topics covered:

1. TWO HOLES?

2. Chemical components of a sperm. You read that right.

3. Kaysa Mag Drugs and Self Serv

4. Sinking Porn industry and STD

5. How stirring a drink means to a man or a woman.

Let's expand them:

1. TWO HOLES?!. Okay, I know my anatomy very well, but Dwight bested me. No, not to my particular anatomy but to a girl's anatomy. The topic - Are There Two holes? I really hope that noone in my family would read this, coz that would be awkward. Ok, back to two holes. Girls has two separate ducts (I couldn't think of a better methapor) for excreting urine and menstruation. From the look on Mike's face, he didn't know that. Madz, please inform him farther. But Dwight?!, he knew this since fourth grade. And for a person who didn't know how to read 'til grade four, sorry Dwight, THAT IS A MILESTONE! I'm impressed. I bet he learned this first over addition. I only knew this when I was 13 and I owned those two holes! Dwight, pa-doctor dayun!

2. Chemical components of a sperm. Who ever in the world is interested in it's chemical components and its atomic number and how much is the strength of chemical bonds it has, must be sick! I am sick! Dwight, Mike and Madz, you're not off the list. So, for learning purposes, chemical substances it compose of: it sure has sucrose(sugar) in it, Water, lactose, a little salt maybe! That's how far I can go. Hey, I take this topic very seriously, after all, we came from those chemical substances! And oh! the ratio of hydrogen to oxygen??? Ow!, why did I hate chemistry in High School, again? Should the topic had been like this, I should have aced Chemistry!

3. Kaysa Mag Drugs. One very important lesson I learned from the boys here is that, when I will have a teen-age hormonal son, and he likes being left at home, I already know what does that means. OK ra na, Kaysa Mag Drugs.

Self Serv. When you laugh at this, we probably work together. Anyhow, self serv?! At least it's healthy! Diba Mike?

4. Sinking Porn industry! Oh no! There's a theory, I don't know if Dwight and Mike just made it up or what, but they said that porn industry is at it's peak during economic depression. So, recalling my economics subject during High School, this will constitutes that porn industry is inversely proportional to economic growth? Yeah, we covered Business Economics, too! At least we're doing our job as concern citizens. STD? This should not be make fun of. This is a serious disease, so, I will stay very very very far away from this.

5. Girls, do not, and I repeat, do not ever stir your drinks with a straw in front of a guy. Or else, you'll end up in a suite with scented candles and a music played nearby with a warm bed full of rose petals, accessorized by a romantic, dim lights - with him. Or worst, in a nearby Male Comfort Room. 

I imagine other customers staring at us. That's RH Bill folks. We're citizen of this country, we discuss things that is the center of a much hated debate nowadays.

For the record, Mike spelled as B.I.G.A. He excelled in all the topics. Hands down to him. And Dwight, too much info. Just, too much info! I awoke at 4am this morning and thought of what you two are doing at that moment! Too much info!

Like I said, we take each topics very seriously. We brainstorms and handed down each one's analysis and theories.

Never order a bottomless whatever. You'll drink more than you can take care of. Ang resulta, katulo nangihi sa Ayala. Hangtud sa balay sigeg pangihi.

Oh, by the way, the gift! After much deliberation, I ended up buying the soon to be married a flat iron. Para sa init ng kanilang pagmamahal!

Mga Hulagway:

That's the place

Dwight and Mike

On my third glass

pretty and prettier. ahem

contest: who's got the reddest lips

Mike won, kay gibutangan og marchulet man

nagpacute si Dwight

On his 5th glass

the food. apparently, teriyaki and barbeque

sauce didn't get along well

The lights that suppose to enhance the beauty.

The light's tale is all but a lie.

Ag nawng murag gisagpa sa engkanto!

Rear: Yeah, we got the stares!

All pictures here are from Dwight's camera.

accolades

Remember when you were just a kid, and being awesome was once measured on how many awards you would get on your school's Recognition Day. You went up the stage as confident as a kid could ever be and stand proud as if winning a battle. You don't know if it's when they announced you're name on the microphone or your mother hanging the coveted medal on your neck that excites you the most.

You don't know what it is, but the feeling is high coz you're pretty sure that your friends we're rooting to fill in your shoes. You feel like, you have this little bragging rights coz you're so awesome, medals and ribbons were dangling on your neck. Then you wanted to prolong the awesomeness, so you wore those accolades for hours, wishing that you're frenemies will see you as awesomely as possible. AWESOME!

Others call it bragging but you call it... well bragging, too, but you're awesome, to hell do they care?

losers pout



see that blue stabs? that's all we got from the raffle.

our company was giving 2 million pesos away. 2 million pesos! crazy, right? the moment i heard this news two months ago, i wasn't a bit ecstatic. really! just think of it. i haven't won a single raffle draw in my entire life. never once was my name called in any raffle draws. how many girls scout raffle tickets i bought during grade school? and high school? never did i win.

i have been working here for more than 3 years. that is, 3 christmasses and countless of company events that has raffle draws in it. and i didn't even get a t-shirt. so, can you blame me for not jumping up and down?

anyway, goodluck to the new millionaire and my new best friend whoever-you-are! oh, wait! i'll find you in facebook so we could bond some other time, okey? call me :P

stinky doo

i have a confession to make. it's unforgivable. i could not even say it with a straight face. do not, and again, DO NOT JUDGE! i need your empathy here!

i went to the office without taking a bath.... there you go! okey, you can laugh, but never judge!

we are new to the neighborhood. noone ever told us about this SIMPLE thing. that once in a while, there is no water in the busy mornings. this very SIMPLE thing! ugh!

believe me, i tried everything on my prowess. i even prayed on every saints that i could muster.

there is no enough water for me to even brush my teeth. and i'm gonna be late for work already. the only visible water in the vicinity is from the toilet bowl. and at times like this, it really looks promising. but i'm drawing a line. ugh! just thinking of it makes my stomach churns. and now the image messes up with my brains.

i even planned to knock at the nearest neighbor's door. the neighbor which i snubbed for a week now, since we moved here. we were on a bad start. it's just that, his shoes and slippers was all over our front door when i first came here. how bad of a welcome was that?! so, i immediately decided to not like him. hay! dili lagi magminaldita kay dili ta gwapa!

so i walk to the office with a day's worth of dirt and sweat. though, i still smell good. really! ahem! really??? hey, at least i wear my best smile. nothing could top that!

haist! a walk of shame.

bittersweet

may 31, 2011
- late post


i nest. that's my problem. i nest.

it's so hard for me to let go. i keep old crappy things with me. i think that's the reason why i'm messy. coz i keep old things that other people look at it as junks. and if our boarding house, that i stayed throughout college life, haven't been burnt, i'm surely still has all those college craps with me until now.

trivia: i still have 2 or 3 orange booklets (CIT's exam booklet) with me and a box full of college stuffs. useless college stuffs. my sister and i once had a heated debate about keeping those stuffs. she wanted to throw them away coz our room looks like it was dwelt with rascals.

and now, we're leaving our apartment. our apartment which have been our home for 4 years. it was me who suggested that we need to move out. the place is more crowder than ever. and were living with boys... you know, boys means mess. ahm, i know! i'm the one to talk?! i'm as messy as a toddler, too. so, back to the frat house, i mean apartment, we should have moved out a week earlier, but i just could not let go of it. now that we're leaving, it magically turns into a cocoon. and i feel more comfortable sitting in the dusty floor here than the usual. oh crap! i don't wanna go. i don't wanna go!

so much memories we've made here. every walls screams happiness. and if i'm just a kind of person who got emotional.... darn! *heavy breaths*. though, i'm not a crybaby who just bawl over something *heavier breaths*, hello! it's just like changing clothes. i can let it go. *sigh* ok, fine, a person is allowed to get emotional sometimes. but i'm surely ain't gonna *broken voice* cry. darn!

oh, come on! that's four years. that's the longest relationship i've got so far. second to chocolate of course *sob*.

now, i'm still here, in a barren apartment, with grey as my companion, instead of joining my sisters in the new one. it's past midnight and i'm still wide awake, chasing memories after memories.

so, i nest. that's my problem. i nest!