At My Funeral

Disclaimer: If you have a heart problem or the sort, I advised you to stop right here and leave this site. I would not held responsible of any occurrence due to this post.


Does this happen to you? Coz, I'll surely start digging a hole for my tomb if this only happens to me. I know I'm a little schizophrenic, but sometimes, I am way out of the line and do things normal people would not do.

Things like:
You lay down in bed at night, readied to be off to dreamland, then as your upper and lower eyelids meet to cover the windows of your soul, as you preparing to doze off - your mind play tricks and lingers to anything farthest from sleep. You started to think of what year are you in, freaking out of how old you are but still you haven't reach halfway of your goals in life, right then and there, problems and thoughts keeping pouring in. From financial problem to the tiniest worries of what to wear the next day coz you pretty damn sure that you ransack all the clean clothes out of your closet, and a mountain of laundry pile in your hamper, cold and untouched. Then you forgot about napping at all coz your blood seems so vibrant you wanna hype, you feel so high you wanna roar. Eternity have past, so it seemed. Still you are wildly awake.

Then you hear the ticktacking of your wall clock and as you look at it, the smaller hand pointing a quarter to four. Gush! You only had less than four hours before your alarm will set-off. Then frustrate of getting some sleep, you do what your kinder garten teacher told you, "count from 1 to 100, then reverse, this will put you asleep". No luck this time. Then you memorize all the president of the Republic of the Philippines, hoping that will help, coz they say boredom will lead you drowse. Nah! You groan louder. Then you name all the animals in Noah's arc as much as you can remember, maybe this will do. But still.... You tried some techniques with no success. 


Until you found an amusing game, you picture out your own funeral, and count all the people that will surely come and pay respect to you. Of course you have already 20 given your own family and relatives, sure they'll be present, coz they adore you. Then you add 10 from your workmates, of course they would be there, they like you a lot, maybe your boss too, if you get lucky. And then 5 from your college friends, your "barkada", other's would mourn but they would not exert effort of getting a hundred-and-seventeen kilometers sprint going to your province, you're not that close anyway. How about your highschool classmates, you are their class president, they should at least see you for the last time, you've been a good leader, they should remember. Your grade school fellows, they played with you during lunch break, you're very good at it, they should at least visit you. Your teachers, you are the best student they ever had, maybe second best or whatever, but at least you think you are. How about your preschooler's crush, you gave him your best smile every morning...

You counted on and on 'til you reach 500 on your list. And then the last entry in your list is your frenemy when you were still 5 years old, the one who gave you 'sambag' during good days and threw stones at you during the not-so-good days. And you lost count and forget everything. Coz you doze-off already. 


The next thing you know is your alarm clock banging out of your eardrums, sign to start another hectic day. Your head hurts as you stand up and afraid to look back at your bed coz when the time you'll do it you wanna crawl under the sheets again and will shuffle mentally the best reasonable excuse to be out sick leave from the office. The thought is very tempting but thinking of the workload that sits in your cube and queued in your emails, you don't have the heart to do so.

So you'll get up and took 2 aspirin, take a shower, dress, put your killer smile and off to work.

Yuh, the funeral thing?!, happens to me.