bittersweet

may 31, 2011
- late post


i nest. that's my problem. i nest.

it's so hard for me to let go. i keep old crappy things with me. i think that's the reason why i'm messy. coz i keep old things that other people look at it as junks. and if our boarding house, that i stayed throughout college life, haven't been burnt, i'm surely still has all those college craps with me until now.

trivia: i still have 2 or 3 orange booklets (CIT's exam booklet) with me and a box full of college stuffs. useless college stuffs. my sister and i once had a heated debate about keeping those stuffs. she wanted to throw them away coz our room looks like it was dwelt with rascals.

and now, we're leaving our apartment. our apartment which have been our home for 4 years. it was me who suggested that we need to move out. the place is more crowder than ever. and were living with boys... you know, boys means mess. ahm, i know! i'm the one to talk?! i'm as messy as a toddler, too. so, back to the frat house, i mean apartment, we should have moved out a week earlier, but i just could not let go of it. now that we're leaving, it magically turns into a cocoon. and i feel more comfortable sitting in the dusty floor here than the usual. oh crap! i don't wanna go. i don't wanna go!

so much memories we've made here. every walls screams happiness. and if i'm just a kind of person who got emotional.... darn! *heavy breaths*. though, i'm not a crybaby who just bawl over something *heavier breaths*, hello! it's just like changing clothes. i can let it go. *sigh* ok, fine, a person is allowed to get emotional sometimes. but i'm surely ain't gonna *broken voice* cry. darn!

oh, come on! that's four years. that's the longest relationship i've got so far. second to chocolate of course *sob*.

now, i'm still here, in a barren apartment, with grey as my companion, instead of joining my sisters in the new one. it's past midnight and i'm still wide awake, chasing memories after memories.

so, i nest. that's my problem. i nest!